sitambar beetate-beetate barasaat samaapt ho chukee thee aur aakaash nirmal evan neela dikhaee dene laga tha. chandar ne unheen dinon ek philm dekhee. vah ek gora, khoobasoorat aur patala-chharahara naujavaan tha, jisako chalate hue dekhakar kisee vaayu-prakampit taaje bent kee yaad aa jaatee. vah laad-pyaar mein pala ek achchhe khaate-peete dehaatee parivaar ka ladaka tha, jo bee.e. kee shiksha grahan kar raha tha aur vishvavidyaalay ke paas sthit ek mohalle mein ek kirae ke kamare mein rahata tha. us philm ka mukhy abhineta unheen philmee lokapriy naayakon kee tarah tha, jo sarvagun sampann hote hain aur uchhalakood, phan, hoshiyaaree aur bhaavukata ka pradarshan karake ant mein ladakee ka hrday jeet lete hain.
philmen to usane bahut dekhee theen, lekin isane us par gahara asar daala aur kaee dinon tak vah sadakon par baichain ghoomata raha aur andheree raaton mein aakaash evan taaron kee rahasyamayata ko nihaarata raha. usake baad vah shahar kee ugr raajaneetik halachalon mein bhaag lene laga. vah kabhee kisee juloos ya pradarshan mein shaamil hokar naare lagaata, kabhee kisee saarvajanik sabha mein bhaashan karata aur do baar aage badhakar usane chhaatron kee hadataal mein hissa liya. isee raaste se vah mahaanata ke shikhar par pahunchega aur apane desh ko mahaan banaega. lekin kuchh hee dinon baad vah tejee se saahity kee or muda, kyonki kisee patrika mein ek kahaanee padhakar usako sahasa mahasoos hua tha ki saahity ka kshetr oonchee pratibhaon se shoony hai.
vah ab lambee prem-kahaaniyaan aur kavitaen likhane ke saath ratajaga karane laga. usane sampaadakon ke paas apanee kuchh rachanaon ke saath kuchh lambe aadarshavaadee aur vyaktigat patr bheje aur jab kuchh rachanaen laut aaeen, to vah shaheedaana dhang se vyangyapoorvak muskuraaya ki ye log ek din usake pairon par girenge. vah ab apane se behad santusht rahane laga aur ab usako ek sundar ladakee kee jaroorat mahasoos hone lagee, jo usakee adviteeyata se prabhaavit hokar us par apana jeevan nyochhaavar kar de, kintu bahut-see ghatanaon mein talaash karane ke baavajood jab use aisee ladakee nahin milee, to vah atyadhik pareshaan ho utha kyonki vah adhik prateeksha nahin kar sakata tha.
ek din savere, jab hava tej chal rahee thee tatha vah apane kamare ke saamane tahal raha tha, to usakee drshti taara kee or gaee, jo khulee chhat par khadee apane baal sukha rahee thee. vah usee makaan mein rahane vaale ek klark kee ladakee thee, jisake ek kamare ka vah kiraedaar tha. ladakee ka rang saanvala tha, shareer lamba tatha dohara, jisake alaava aur koee khaas baat usamen na thee. vah baar-baar apane baalon ko jhatak rahee thee aur un par dhoop pooree tarah pad sake, isake lie shareer ko kabhee baeen or mod letee thee aur kabhee daeen or. ek baar hava itanee tej chalee ki usake baal udane lage, goya asankhy kaale sarp bhaag rahe hon. usaka aanchal bhee ud-ud jaata, jisako sambhaalane mein usako khel ka maja aane laga aur vah sharaarat se muskuraee aur aur tabhee usakee najar neeche chandar kee or gaee aur vah behad sankuchit ho gaee aur apane shareer ko sikod tatha jhukaakar ghar ke andar bhaag gaee.
chandar ko behad aashchary hua. usane kabhee socha bhee na tha ki us ladakee mein itanee chanchalata aur shokhee ho sakatee hai. kamal ke naal kee tarah jhoolatee nangee baanhen aur hathinee kee tarah maansal shareer. darasal usane us ladakee ko kabhee mahatv nahin diya tha, yahaan tak ki usako theek se dekha bhee nahin tha yadyapi vah usake ghar ke andar aata-jaata tha aur usake yahaan daavaton aur samaarohon mein kaee baar shaamil bhee ho chuka tha. usaka khayaal tha ki vah ek bhondoo, gandee aur aalasee ladakee hai, jaise ki klarkon kee ladakiyon ke baare mein usakee raay thee. vah teen meel paidal chalakar kaalej pahunchatee thee, utanee hee vaapas lautatee thee, maamoolee kapade pahanatee thee tatha ghar mein daant-phatakaar sunatee rahatee thee.
yah sab sochakar chandar ko us ladakee par itanee daya aaee ki vah vartamaan saamaajik vyavastha ke prati prabal aakrosh se bhar utha. vah us ladakee ke bhaagy ko sudhaarega aur is tarah samast saamaajik vyavastha par kroor prahaar karega tatha ek saadhaaran ladakee ko pyaar karake desh ke saamane apanee mahaanata ko siddh kar dega aur is mahatvapoorn nishchay par pahunchakar usako apane oopar ek veer naayak kee tarah garv hua. vah bahut hee aasaanee se utsaah evan umang kee moorti ban gaya aur doosare din se hee us ladakee ko ek aise premee kee najar se dekhana laga, jo apane pyaar kee khaatir bade se bada tyaag karane ko taiyaar ho. jab vah kolej jaane lagatee, to vah saaph-suthare kapade pahanakar kamare se baahar aakar khada ho jaata aur kolej se lautane ke samay bhee vah maujood milata, kabhee-kabhee vah kuchh door tak usaka peechha karata, kabhee raaste mein hee khada dikhaee deta aur kabhee-kabhee chhuttee hone ke samay kolej ke get ke saamane vyastataapoorvak idhar-udhar jaate hue najar aata. isake baad vah usase baatacheet karane kee koshish karane laga.
“kya samay hai?”
“aaj der se kyoon ja rahee ho?”
“kolej mein aaj chhuttee nahin hai?”
ukhade-ukhade se prashn. aankhon mein daya, dukh aur shahaadat kee bhaavanaen taira karateen. phir to usakee gatividhiyaan kuchh is dhang se badheen ki ladakee ko sachet ho jaane ke lie majaboor hona pada. pahale to usako achambha hua, phir vah usako avishvaas se dekhane lagee, yahaan tak ki kuchh hee dinon baad usakee aankhon se ek ajeeb bhay jhaankane laga.
us din chandar kaaphee aage badh gaya, jab vah apane kamare mein baitha tha aur taara kolej se vaapas aaee thee. chandar ne pahale kamare ke donon daravaajon ke baahar dekha aur jab koee dikhaee na pada to galiyaare se jaldee-jaldee gujaratee huee taara ko usane paas bulaaya. taara ne usako chaunkakar dekha, phir usaka chehara phak pad gaya aur vah daratee-daratee kamare ke andar aaee aur sar jhukaakar khadee ho gaee.
“tumhaaree padhaee kaisee chal rahee hai taara?” chandar ne kisee hitaishee ke adhikaar se poochha.
“theek chal rahee hai.”
“koee kathinaee hai?”
“nahin.”
“kathinaee mahasoos hone par poochh sakatee ho. main koee bhoot nahin hoon. bas, yahee samajh lo ki main tumhaara koee nukasaan nahin dekh sakata.”
taara ka sar jhuka-ka-jhuka raha. chandar ne uthakar kamare mein do baar chahalakadamee kee, phir vah taara ke ekadam nikat aakar bola – “taara, tumako darana nahin chaahie. apane ko heen nahin samajhana chaahie. tumamen bahut see achchhaiyaan hain. darane kee kya jaroorat hai?”
usakee baaton ka taara par na jaane kaisa asar hua ki usaka chehara rudan kee halakee lakeeron mein kho gaya aur vah achaanak chhatakakar kamare ke baahar nikal gaee.
taara ne jaldee se kitaaben rakheen aur ekaant kamare mein baithakar chupachaap aankhen pochhane lagee, vah sachamuch apane ko bahut chhota mahasoos karane lagee., goya kisee ne sanket karake yah bata diya ho ki usaka sthaan kahaan hai. vah apane maan-baap kee pratham bhookh-pyaas kee ladakee thee aur usako kabhee bahut laad-pyaar bhee mila tha. usak dimaag bahut achchha tha aur apane imtihaan bahut achchhe nambaron se paas karatee rahatee thee. lekin dheere-dheere usake parivaar kee sankhya badhatee gaee aur baajaar mein jarooree saamaan kee keematen chadhatee gaeen aur usake parivaar par kaalee chhaaya mandaraane lagee. ab ghar mein roj hee ladaee jhagada hone laga. maamoolee baat par chakh-chakh aur gaalee-galauj. pita naaraaj hokar ghar se nikal jaate. kabhee maan khaana-paanee chhodakar apane ko kamare mein band kar letee. svayan us par bhee roj daant-phatakaar hee padatee. usako chhaatee phaadakar kaam karane padate, bachchon ko sambhaalana padata aur chhote bhaee ko god laadana padata.
kaee baar usakee padhaee chhudaane kee baat aaee, jisake lie kaee baar usakee maan ne jid thaan lee, lekin usake pita kee vajah se aisa nahin ho paata tha kyoonki vah jaanate the ki bina padhaee-likhaee ke shaadee nahin ho paegee aur yadi shaadee jaldee na bhee ho to ladakee apane pairon par khadee to ho jaegee, lekin ghar ke ghutan bhare vaataavaran ne usakee umang ko samaapt kar diya tha aur vah ghar tatha kaam se bhaagane lagee. jab kolej jaane ka samay hota to usake utsaah kee seema na hotee. usakee taangon mein ajeeb see sphoorti aa jaatee aur vah saara kaam jaldee nipataakar baahar nikal jaatee. phurr-phurr baahar nikalakar usako ajeeb see shaanti mahasoos hotee. kaash vah apane ghar kabhee na aa paatee aur isee tarah sadakon par ghoomatee rahatee. lekin shaam ko jab vah ghar lautatee, to usako mahasoos hota ki maano usake paanvon mein man-man ke bojhe baandh die gae ho aur hrday par ek bhaaree shila rakh dee gayee ho. kaisee majaboor aur heenata bharee jindagee thee.
usaka rudan sisakiyon mein badal gaya, jisake thamane par vah chandar kee baaten sochane lagee aur usako ek ajeeb taajagee aur naveenata ka anubhav hone laga tatha yah bhee ki usaka bhee kuchh mahatv hai. baadalon kee tarah niruddeshy bhaagate hue usake man ko ek thos aadhaar praapt hua tha. dekhate hee dekhate sab kuchh ulat-pulat ho gaya aur usake man mein ek prabal aandhee chalane lagee. raat mein vah chaarapaee chhodakar chupake se khulee chhat par aa jaatee aur andhakaar mein kuchh talaash karane lagee. lagaataar barasate hue paanee ko dekhakar usakee aankh bhar aatee aur kuchh hee din baad vah kuchh poochhane ke bahaane kitaab lekar chandar ke kamare mein pahunch jaatee aur sheeghr hee is poochhane aur bataane ke beech pyaar ka naatak khela jaane laga. ant mein ve chhip-chhip kar milane lage, kabhee raat ke andhere mein aur kabhee kolej ke phaatak par.
“mera saath dogee?” chandar kabhee poochhata tha.
“main nahin jaanatee!” taara sharama jaatee thee.
“nahin, main saaph-saaph baaten sunane ka aadee hoon.”
“doongee… doongee !”
“main duniya ko dikha doonga…” chandar garv se kahata tha.
isake baad chandar bahut hee oonchaee se apana jeevan darshan pesh karane lag jaata. usakee baat ‘mere vichaar mein’ ya ‘main yah sochata hoon’ se shuroo hotee thee. usako poora vishvaas tha ki vah ek mahaan kraantikaaree paropakaar ka kaary kar raha hai, jisamen apanee poorn vijay aur sarvochchata kee baat sochakar vah saare samaaj ko apane shatru ke roop mein kalpana karane lagata. apane pyaar ko lekar vah nirantar sangharsh aur ladaee kee baat sochata tha aur iseelie taara ko taiyaar karana chaahata tha.
“taara, tumako badee se badee kurabaanee ke lie taiyaar rahana chaahie. tumako kisee se darana nahin hai, tumako adhik se adhik parishram karake, adhik se adhik padhana hai. kisee ke saamane aane par sar jhukaane kee jaroorat nahin hai. main sabako dekh loonga. taara mujhe yogy svaabhimaan striyaan pasand hai. tumhen mere vichaaron ke yogy banana hai.”
jaada aur garmee beet gaee aur phir barasaat aa gaee. taara intarameediet paas karake bee.e. mein pahunch gaee. in kuchh maheenon mein chandar ke pyaar aur vichaar ne usake jeevan ko sampoornatah badal diya. usakee aankhon mein sada ek chamak dikhaee detee, jaise praatahkaal poorvee kshitij ka andhera phat jaata hai. usane apane aur jeevan ke doshon ko naee drshti se dekha aur vah jaldee se jaldee chandar ke anukool banane ke lie utsuk ho uthee.
usake hothon par sada ek madhur aur vishvaasapoorn muskaraahat chhaee rahatee aur vah utsaah, sphoorti, sneh aur sadbhaav kee moorti ban gaee. vah tadake hee uth jaatee, ghar kee saphaee-vaphaee karake khud nahaakar angeethee jala detee aur samay par naashta karake sabako aashcharyachakit kar detee. usane doosaron kee any aavashyakataon par dhyaan dena shuroo kiya. usane sabake kapade pres karane, pita jee tatha chhote bhaiyon ke joote paalish karane tatha maata jee ke lie tamaakhoo chadhaane ka niyam bana liya. ab maan ko savere niyamit roop se paanee bhare lote mein rakhee neem kee daatun tatha bhojan ke samay sabako pyaaj aur chatanee avashy mil jaatee. vah chhote bhaee-bahanon ko samay par uthaakar taiyaar kara detee tatha unako khila pila kar padhane ke lie bitha detee. jab vah kolej jaatee, to usaka man sada chandar ke pyaar se pulakit rahata aur vah apanee sahaliyon ke saamane bhee baatacheet mein sada chandar ke vichaaron ko hee duharaatee rahatee. usaka jeevan ek mahaan dilachaspee, vishvaas evan prateeksha mein parivartit ho gaya tha.
ek din jab vah kolej se lautee to usakee maan usake chhote bhaee pappoo ko gaaliyaan de rahee thee.
“maan, yah theek nahin hai”, taara ne kaha.
“kya theek nahin hain?”
“gaaliyaan dena.”
“are meree bhaujee! too mujhe sikhaane chalee hai? aao to jhaadoo se baat karoon.”
taara ka munh krodh se tamatamaane laga aur aankhen chamakane lagee. usane jhanajhanaatee aavaaj mein kaha, “aap mere prati aisee jabaan mein nahin bol sakatee.”
“kya? teree yah himmat?”
“main ab badee aur jimmedaar ho gaee hoon. main yah sab bardaasht nahin karoongee.”
“are pappoo, bula apane baap ko!” usakee maaan cheekh padee, “aane de unako, main tera deeda navaatee hoon. baap re, yah ladakee haath se nikalatee ja rahee hai! thahar ja, main tera padhana-likhana chhudaatee hoon aur isee saal tujhe ghar se bhagaatee hoon…”
“main kaheen nahin jaoongee.” taara ne drdh svar mein kaha.
“kya kaha? too shaadee nahin karegee?”
“nahin… nahin.”
“to kya karegee, chhaatee par moong dalegee ?”
“moong kyoon daloongee? main adhik se adhik padhoongee aur apane pairon par khadee hooongee. main apanee samasya khud hal karoongee, tumako chinta karane kee jaroorat nahin hai.”
“padhoongee!” maan hoth vikrt karake bolee – “too padhegee kya, saare khaanadaan kee naak kataegee! rah, jabaan ladaane ka maja chakhaatee hoon!”
usake baad usakee maan ne paas mein rakhe ek dande ko utha liya aur aage lapakakar us par prahaar karane lagee. taara pahale cheekhee. isake baad kaath kee tarah khadee hokar maar khaatee rahee. usaka munh laal ho gaya tha aur aankhon se jharajhar aansoo gir rahe the. aansuon se bheege hue hothon mein vah budabudaee – “maarakar tum meree jaan le sakatee ho, lekin mere vichaaron ko badal nahin sakatee…”
taara ne bhojan tyaag diya. vah pahale kee tarah hee sab kaam karatee rahee, lekin ann ko haath na lagaatee. pahale to maan jid mein kuchh na bolee lekin jab do din beet gae to maatha thanaka. isako pata nahin idhar kya ho gaya hai, kaheen sachamuch jaan na de de! isake lakshan idhar samajh mein nahin aate! der tak banaav-shrngaar karatee rahatee hai. baaten bhee bujurg kee tarah karatee hai. ladakee ko yah sab shobha nahin deta hai. ijjat aabaroo ke saath din kat jae, yahee bahut hai. usane ab pati se saaree baat kah dena uchit samajha aur kahakar svayan rone lagee.
pati ne pahale patnee ko bahut phatakaara, phir vah taara ke paas jaakar baith gae. unhonne saaph-saaph baat karana uchit samajha. prashn-par-prashn! taara pahale hichaakichaee. lekin pita ne kaha ki vah padhee-likhee ladakee hai vah usase saaph-saaph baaten sunana chaahate hain. pita ke svar mein apaar sahaanubhooti thee. taara apane ko rok na sakee. usane sab kuchh bata diya aur usakee hichakiyaan bandh gaeen.
pita ka chehara gambheer ho gaya aur vah vahaan se uth aae. vah tahalane lage. chupachaap. kabhee yah ladakee kitanee chhotee thee aur aaj badee hokar aisee baaten kar rahee hai. jamaana kitana badal gaya hai. kya aisa ho sakata hai? kaash, aisa ho sakata. vibhinn jaatiyon ke beech aaj shaadiyaan hone lagee hain, isamen kya khaas baat hai? phir vah tilak, dahej se bach jaenge, jisake lie karj ke alaava koee aur chaara nahin hai. ladaka bura nahin hai. vah der tak sochate rahe, phir bhee kisee nishchay par nahin pahunch pae, kyonki tark evan sachchaee ke sahaare jab vah do kadam aage badhate the, puraane sanskaar unake kadam ko peechhe kheench lete the.
raat mein der tak pati-patnee khusur-phusur karate rahe. beech mein patnee royee-chillaayee. phir pati der tak samajhaate rahe. spasht, drdh aavaaj. tarkasangat baaten. nae jamaane ke vichaaron ko sveekaar karane kee daleelen. patnee ka virodh mand padane laga. phir pata nahin kab se sab-kuchh khaamoshee mein kho gaya. taara saaree baaten chhipakar sun rahee thee. jab ve so gae, to vah chupake se pair daba kar nikalee. khushee ke maare usakee deh tharathara rahee thee. chandar ko vah kab yah-sab sunaegee? chaaron aur ghana andhera kundalee maarakar baitha tha. hava gumasum thee, jaise kisee shadyantr mein leen ho. chandar abhee soya nahin tha. khatakhataahat sunate hee daravaaja khol diya aur haath badhaakar taara ko apane paas kheench liya.
“main aaj bahut khush hoon.” taara ne muskaraakar kaha. usakee aankhen pyaar se chamak rahee theen.
“kya baat hai? chandar ne laaparavaahee se poochha.
“mithaee khilaanee padegee.”
“jaroor! ab batao.”
“pitaajee raajee ho gae hain.”
“raajee ho gae hain? kya matalab?” chandar kuchh samajh nahin paaya tha.
taara ne vistaar se sab baat sunaee. usake svar mein umang kee tejee aur chamak thee. chandar ka chehara sahasa phak pad gaya. usane apane ko aalingan se mukt kar liya aur khidakee ke baahar andhere mein dekhane laga. shaadee! vah apane ko mahaan samajhata tha aur usakee kalpana thee ki usaka pyaar mahaan sangharsh, mahaan toophaan aur mahaan kurbaanee ke daur se gujarega. usake pyaar kee aisee saadhaaran parinati hogee, aisa usane socha bhee na tha. usaka munh dekhate hee dekhate kathor ho gaya.
“kya baat hai?” taara dar gaee.
“yah dhokha hai!” usane ghrna se munh bichakaate hue kaha.
“kya dhokha hai?”
“tum dhokhebaaj ho. tumane shuroo se aakhir tak mere saath dhokha kiya hai.”
“kya dhokha kiya hai, aap bataate kyoon nahin?” taara ne ruaanse svar mein kaha…
“haan, kiya hai. isee ke lie tum mere peechhe padee huee thee, par aaj main samajh gaya ki tum jeevan mein kuchh nahin kar sakatee. tumase koee bada kaam nahin ho sakata.”
“bada kaam aur kaise ho sakata hai?” taara ka chehara apamaan se tamatamaane laga.
“bade kaam karane ke bade tareeke hote hain. usake lie bade sangharsh se gujarana padata hai. tum unake kaabil nahin ho.”
“main ab samajh gaee.” taara ke svar mein teekhaapan tha.
“kya samajh gaee?”
“aap mujhe pyaar nahin karate. aap pyaar kar hee nahin sakate.”
“kya matalab?” chandar chaunk pada.
“matalab spasht hai. pyaar kee charam parinati hai shaadee, isee manjil tak pahunchane ke lie sangharsh aur kurabaaniyaan dee jaatee hain. lekin ab yah manjil praapt ho jaatee hai, to aapako khushee nahin hotee. isaka arth hai ki aapake sangharsh kee baaten jimmedaariyon se bachane aur svaarth ko chhipaane ka bahaana hai. mainne to jeevan ke aarambh se hee sangharsh kiya hai, aapane kya kiya? aap bhookh jaanate hain? aapako gareebee, jalaalat, ghutan, oob, niraasha ka pata hai? saaph to yah hai ki aapako ek naaree-deh kee jaroorat hai aur jaroorat hai apane ahankaar kee trpti kee.”
“tum vaahiyaat bak rahee ho.” chandar ne ghoorakar kathor svar mein kaha.
“haan, vaahiyaat bak rahee hoon.” taara aur bhee teekhee aavaaj mein bolee – “lekin aaj aapako sab kuchh sunana padega. main aapako kitana pyaar karatee hoon yah nahin bata sakatee, lekin aaj aapakee bhee galat baaton ko main bardaasht nahin kar sakatee. aapaka bhee aisa hee kahana hai. aapake lie to main bada se bada tyaag karane ko taiyaar thee, lekin idhar mainne yah mahasoos karana shuroo kar diya hai ki aap keval apanee baaton ko mahatv dete hain, doosaron kee bhaavanaon kee aapakee katee paravaah nahin. kitanee baar meree ichchha huee ki aapase apane man kee baaten kahoon…. apane dukh-sukh kee, apanee kalpanaon kee, bhavishy kee. kaee baar main koee achchhee kitaab padhakar aatee thee aur usake baare mein aapase baaten karana chaahatee thee, lekin aap meree har baat ko kaatakar apanee baaten shuroo kar dete the, vahee upadesh. vahee chhaatr aandolan ke anubhav. aapako do hee baaton se matalab hai, ek meree deh se aur doosare mujhe upadesh dene se. main mehanat karoon, main kurabaanee dene ko taiyaar ho jaoon. aap kya karoge? aap kya mehanat karate hain? baat to yah hai ki aap sada hava mein udate rahana chaahate hain aur aaj jab jameen par utarane ka mauka aaya hai tyaag karane ka samay aaya hai, to aap jaan bachaana chaahate hain, isalie aap naaraaj hain, apane lie maujapoorn gairajimmedaar aur doosaron ke lie parishram, kartavy aur jimmedaaree, yahee aapaka jeevan darshan hai. par main aapase yah poochhatee hoon ki aapane mera jeevan kyon barabaad kiya? khair aap yah baat gaanth baandhakar rakh leejie ki main kisee kee daya par nirbhar nahin raha chaahatee.”
ant mein usakee baaten rudan mein bikhar gaeen aur vah tejee se baahar nikal gaee.
chandar kuchh der tak kamare mein sunn khada raha. aisee ummeed usako na thee. kuchh kshanon ke lie usako laga ki taara kee baaten sahee hain. tab vah apane ko bahut hee chhota mahasoos karane laga. lekin sheeghr hee usane apane ko is bhaavana se mukt kar liya. ab usaka munh krodh aur ghrna se vikrt ho gaya. ehasaan karane ka yah phal milata hai! jisako usane keechad se nikaala tha, vah ab usee par prahaar kar rahee hai! yah hai duniya! usane andhere mein thooka aur jor se daravaaja band kar liya.
ladaka-ladakee