mujhe lag raha tha ki jisaka mujhe dar tha, vahee hone ja raha hai. aur aphasos yah ki main koshish bhee karoon to use rok nahin sakata. mainne kaee prayatn kie ki patnee meree taraph dekh len taaki ishaare-hee-ishaare mein unhen khaamosh rahane ka ishaara kar doon, lekin ve lagaataar vee.aaee.pee. se baaten kie ja rahee theen! mere saamane kuchh doosare atithi khade the, jinhen chhodakar main ekadam se patnee aur vee.aaee.pee. kee taraph nahin ja sakata tha. prayaas karata hua jab tak main vahaan pahuncha to patnee vee.aaee.pee. se ‘usee’ ke baare mein baat kar rahee theen. dhaaraapravaah bol rahee theen. main sharminda hua ja raha tha. jab mujhase khaamosh na raha gaya to bola, “are chhodo, theek ho jaega.”
patnee gusse mein bolee, “aapako kya hai, subah ghar se nikal jaate hain to raat hee mein vaapas aate hain. jo din-bhar ghar mein rahata ho usase poochhie ki kya guzaratee hai.”
yah kahakar patnee phir ‘usake’ baare mein shuroo ho gaeen. main dil-hee-dil mein sochane laga ki patnee paagal nahin to, had darje kee bevakooph zaroor hai jo itane bade, mahatvapoorn aur prabhaavashaalee vee.aaee.pee. se shikaayat bhee kar rahee hai to ye ki dekhie hamaare ghar ke saamane naala bahata hai, usamen se badaboo aatee hai, usamen suar lautate hain, usamen aasapaas vaale bhee nigaah bachaakar gandagee phenk jaate hain, naale ko koee saaph nahin karata. sainkadon baar shikaayaten darj karaee ja chukee hain. ek baar to kisee ne mara hua itana bada chooha phenk diya tha. vah paanee mein phoolakar aadamee ke bachche jaisa lagane laga tha.
yah sach hai ki hamane ghar ke saamane vaale naale kee shikaayaten saikadon baar darj karaee hain. lekin naala saaph kabhee nahin hua. usamen se badaboo aana kam nahin huee. jab ham log shikaayaten karate-karate thak gae to aise parichiton se mile jo is baare mein madad kar sakate the, yaanee kuchh sarakaaree karmachaaree ya nagarapaalika ke sadasy ya aur doosare kism ke prabhaavashaalee log. lekin naala saaph nahin hua. hamaare yahaan jo mitr lagaataar aate hain, ve naala-saphaee karaane sambandhee pooree kaaryavaahee se parichit ho gae hain. sab jaanate hain ki is baare mein uparaajyapaal ko do rajistard patr ja chuke hain. isake baare mein ek sthaaneey akhabaar mein photo sahit vivaran chhap chuka hai. isake baare mein mahaanagarapaalika ke daftar mein jo patr bheje gae hain unakee phail itanee motee ho gaee hai ki aadamee ke uthae nahin uthatee, aadi-aadi.
vee.aaee.pee. ko ghar bulaane se pahale bhee mujhe dar tha ki patnee kaheen unase naale ka rona na lekar baith jaen. kyonki main unakee maanasik haalat samajhata tha, isalie mainne unhen samajhaaya tha ki dekho naala-vaala chhotee cheezen hain, vah vee.aaee.pee. ke baen haath ka bhee nahin, aankh ke ishaare ka kaam hai. ye kaam to unake yahaan aane kee khabar phailate hee, apane-aap ho jaega. lekin is vakt patnee sab kuchh bhool chukee theen. majabooran mujhe bhee vee.aaee.pee. ke saamane ‘haan’ ‘hoon’ karanee pad rahee thee. aakhirakaar vee.aaee.pee. ne kaha ki yah chinta karane kee koee baat nahin hai.
vee.aaee.pee. ke aashvaasan ke baad hee patnee kaee saal ke baad theek se so paeen. unhen doston aur mohalle vaalon ne badhaee dee ki aakhir kaam ho hee gaya.
vee.aaee.pee. ke aashvaasan se ham log itane aashvast the ki ek-do maheene to hamane naale ke baare mein socha hee nahin, udhar dekha hee nahin. naala ham sabako kainsar ke us rogee jaisa lagata tha jo aaj na mara to kal mar jaega…. kal na sahee to parason… par marana nishchit hai. dheere-dheere naala hamaaree baatacheet se baahar ho gaya.
jab kuchh maheene guzar gae to patnee ne mahaanagar paalika ko phon kiya. vahaan se uttar mila ki naala saaph kiya jaega. phir kuchh maheene guzare, naala vaise ka vaisa hee raha. patnee ne vee.aaee.pee. ke ophis phon kie. ve itane vyast the, dauron par the, videshon mein the ki sampark ho hee nahin saka.
maheenon baad jab vee.aaee.pee. se sampark hua to unhonne bahut aatmavishvaas se kaha ki kaam ho jaega. chinta mat keejie. lekin yah uttar mile chh: maheene beet gae to patnee ke dhairy ka baandh tootane laga. ve mantraalay se lekar deegar daftaron ke chakkar kaatane lageen. is mej se us mej tak. us kamare se is kamare tak sirph ‘haan’ ‘haan’ ‘haan’ jaise aashvaasan milate rahe, lekin hua kuchh nahin.
ek din jab main ophis se lautakar aaya to patnee ne bataaya ki unhonne naale mein bahut-se phal bahate dekhe hain. mainne kaha, “kisee ne phenke honge.”
is ghatana ke do-chaar din baad patnee ne bataaya ki unhonne naale mein kitaaben bahatee dekhee hain. yah sunakar main dar gaya. laga shaayad patnee ka dimaag hil gaya hai, lekin patnee naarmal theen.
phir to patnee hee nahin, mohalle ke aur log bhee naale mein tarah-tarah kee cheejen bahatee dekhane lage. kisee din jad se ukhade ped, kis din chidiyon ke ghonsale, kisee din tootee huee shahanaee.
ek din der se raat gae ghar aaya to patnee bahut ghabaraee huee lag rahee theen. bolee, “aaj mainne vee.aaee.pee. ko naalen mein tairate dekha tha. ve bahut khush lag rahe the. naale mein dubakiyaan laga rahe the. hans rahe the. kilakaariyaan maar rahe the. uchhal-kood rahe the, jaisa log sviming pool mein karate hain!”